Upset by Reporting Mistake, Griffiths To Freeze Out Media

Chill Captain and part-time goalie Mike Griffiths called a press conference Friday to announce that he would no longer be talking to the media. Griffiths was upset at a recent Customstats.com story which erroneously reported that he had suffered the loss in a 2000B game versus the Lite-Sabres. “What shoddy reporting!” Griffiths exclaimed, “I remember that game like it was yesterday”. He went on to recount how he had given up “only 23 goals” after relieving starting netminder Odin Ortiz in the 30-7 defeat.

Griffiths says this story has hurt his reputation in the goaltending community. He claims among other things that Nikolai Khabibulin has asked for his jersey back, after allowing Griffiths to wear it for the past 4 years. Besides refusing to talk to the FHL’s beat writers, Griffiths says he has cancelled his weekly radio show “Gabbing With Griffiths”. Asked where Chill fans would get their weekly dose of inside information, Griffiths replied that they could tune into “The Murphy and Rankin Comedy Hour”, a program starring two of his players which will be airing on local cable TV.

With that, Griffiths left the podium, but not before he turned to address the media throng one last time. Invoking the words of a former US President after his final press conference, the Chill Captain declared, “You won’t have Griffiths to kick around anymore!” Editor's Note

Customstats.com regrets the error referred to in the story above. We hereby apologize to Mr. Griffiths, his fiance, his family, friends, Philip Morris USA, and the entire province of Newfoundland and Labrador.